Whoa. I’ve been some place weird.
I got annoyed about something last Wednesday — that’s over a week ago — and the annoyance just would not go away. I can’t even remember what I was annoyed about. But I didn’t want to talk to anyone, didn’t want to answer the phone, didn’t want to work, didn’t want to play with the dog. I didn’t want to do anything except be alone and be annoyed.
Is that depression?
The concept of being depressed is pretty foreign to me. I mean I’ve seen short glimpses of it, but hoo boy, if that’s what I went through last week, I want no part of it. And why did it come on me like that?
Pressure, I’m certain, was part of it. I had a 30-page research paper to do, the holidays are here, and I was behind because I devoted six weeks to my mother. So I was backed up on everything and stressed to the max because of it. One by one, those things began to resolve themselves (the tree is up, the paper is in the mail, the shopping is done, work is caught up, I’m back to the gym, etc.) and each time I ticked something off my list, my mood lightened.
And then there’s also the possibility that this was a little residual grief. It appears that just because the tears are no longer standing by, ready to gush at any inappropriate (or appropriate) moment, doesn’t mean that the process is finished. Grief is amazing.
Anyway, I’m back.
And look! It’s Christmas!