Family Values

I hear a lot about “family values,” although never more than during an election cycle.

My question is: What are family values? People tout that phrase all the time, yet when pressed, I can’t imagine that a one of them could mention a single value that would fill the bill.

(As an aside: People who talk about “family values” are usually the same people who say they’re fighting for “social justice,” but I suggest that most of them cannot define “justice.”)

So for people interested in values, these are the seven that I hold dear. I believe they are universal as well as personal. I believe they are inherent in our DNA. I believe that any law written anywhere should be held up to this short list of values to see if it passes muster. If so, let it be. If not, then tweak it until it does.

Life

Equality

Quality of Life

Opportunity for Personal Growth

Empathy

Compassion

Love for Humanity

Please note that Life, Equality, and Opportunity for Personal Growth are strangely similar to: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, a phrase etched into the Declaration of Independence. Those men knew what they were talking about.

These are good values for your family. If we all taught our children to admire these values and adhere to them as adults, our society would be a better place. Our world would be a better place.

It’s never too late to adopt them as your own.

Spiritual Sustainability

On June 5, I presented my master’s thesis at Marylhurst University. My topic: Spiritual Sustainability: A Personal and Social Imperative. This is the text of that presentation.

Ladies and gentlemen, professors, angels and other unseen friends. Thank you for the opportunity to be here this morning, the culminating act of an extraordinary education.  Let us begin this morning by acknowledging the miracle of having a fragment of the living God within each of us, and Jesus’ spirit of truth which encircuits all of us in this room and binds us together as family. Whenever two or more are gathered, he is here, and so we welcome the presence of Christ among us today.

I have studied the life and teachings of Jesus for the past thirty years. Even so, in the early research for this thesis project, it was as if a knob had been turned and life suddenly clicked into focus. I began to see very clearly the reality which had been up to that time only theory. It has changed my life. It has changed the way I relate with everyone: my husband, my family members, my neighbors, all of you. I have a new vision of my role in life, in the world, in the cosmos, in eternity.

It all began with John 13.34: “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another.”

 Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. Not love your neighbor as yourself, but as I have loved you.  As God loves us. As the ultimate father loves his errant, stumbling, young, immature, seeking child, who is just trying to please. And isn’t that who we are? Fumbling around, trying our best to work with the challenges we’ve been given? God asks that I love that weird homeless guy on the street corner as if he were my child. He asks that I look at that meth addict who robbed us, twice, with the fierce, protective love that parents have for their children. Whew. That’s a big order. This goes way beyond Thou Shalt Not Kill.

Well, Jesus was here. He walked a mile in our moccasins. He knows about us. He knows how we are, prone to pettiness and jealousies, quick to anger and filled with ego and nationalistic and cultural pride. He knew then that the chances were slim that we would be able to achieve this in his absence unless he left us a little help. And so he did.

The Spirit of Truth. The paraclete, the helper, the comforter, the advocate. Christ’s spirit has been with us for two thousand years, to help us do that very thing that we do best – socialize. We are social creatures, and we get together under any pretext to socialize. To do business, to sew a quilt, to raise a barn, to take a class. We get together just to gather together in groups of two or more, because when we do, Jesus is there with us, whether we know it or not, whether we acknowledge it or not, whether we engage with him or not. He is with us and we like that feeling, so we keep doing it.

So we begin to make up things for us to do together. Parties, luncheons. Businesses. Social networks. Governments. Conglomerates. The more complex, the more interesting. Except that when we build these things, we let our heads get ahead of our hearts. We begin to assemble them together out of need, greed, or expediency, instead of accessing the wisdom of Christ’s spirit to formulate and work together in love, as he asked.

Today our systems are beginning to fail. Some people have too much while others have nothing. Our kids are taking drugs, getting pregnant in high school, ending up in jail. As many marriages fail as succeed. What do we do? We implement more social programs to provide high school daycare centers, and drug treatment programs in jail, and cheap, no-fault divorces. These are not sustainable fixes, because we are addressing the symptoms, not the problem.

International relations are stretched to the breaking point as we posture for one another, and we are currently fighting wars on two fronts. War! Still! Christians sending other Christians out to kill. Where is God in that system? What happened to loving every single person on this planet as Jesus has loved us? How can we privileged Americans buy a winter home in Arizona when children are starving? Would you let your natural birth child starve so you could buy a new boat? Of course not, but we all sip cocktails by the pool while our spiritual brothers and sisters starve, are brutalized, and blown to smithereens. And we call ourselves Christians.

For a while, I considered my birth into a middle-income white American family and my unlimited potential as an accident of birth. I no longer believe that. I believe that it is precisely my innate gifts and personality propensities that got me this assignment, so that I might do something with these opportunities I’ve been given.

All of our systems, from trade to taxation to health care to water delivery to food production to the crazy way we try to force round children into square classrooms, is breaking down, and we patch them together, creating enormous bureaucracies that aren’t fixing the problems at all, but are expedient for this legislative term. Or for this administration. Or for this generation.

A famous statement from the Iroquois Nation is that we should never commit a single act without considering its consequences seven generations hence. Who among us thinks two hundred years in the future when we stop to fill our cars with fossil fuel? Or throw plastic bags into the garbage?

Well, there is a solution, and it has been with us all along. We need to bring the Spirit of Truth to the table and access its wisdom. Jesus knew we’d have a tough time with all this social stuff, and of course he was right. Here we are. We’ve never needed him more. It’s time to bring the spirit of Christ back into our systems, back into our lives, back into fashion.

There are those who argue that there is no such thing as spirit, that religion is mere superstition. There are others who believe that humans will rise above and fix everything with their own creativity and ingenuity, but I see no evidence of that. I think the hand of God has been holding back the cataclysm, and we need to wake up and get about our Father’s business before that house which we have built on sand comes crashing down.

It is not my intention to stand here and preach to you. Well, maybe it is. I seem to have acquired a taste for preaching in the past three years. But we’re all smart and alert and watch the nightly news. Many people have been sounding the alarm for a long time. The world is awake and aware. I feel a spiritual quickening in the ether. We are all starving to connect, but we’re without direction. We all know that something can be done, something must be done. But what?

In the research for this thesis project, I came upon a simple formula that I think might be the answer. It is about exchanging our current aggregations of special interests for workable, interlocking systems. This simple formula can be worked on any system from the way your family communicates to the way we elect our representatives in congress. It could be the basis of local budgeting to the way we educate our children. It could change our whole world from a profit-driven economy to a service-driven one.

It all begins with intention. Intention is the beginning step of any right action. I would not be standing here if it was not my intention to further my education in this field. None of us would be here this morning if it was not for our intention to attend this colloquium. So intention has to be the initiating event. In fact, I could use the thesis process to illustrate my point. Eight of us began Dr. Carreker’s thesis class, each of us with the intention of producing a thesis and graduating this month. We had defined our intention.

The next step is to determine three core spiritual values that serve that intention. What are the core values that run our country? What are the core values that propel our education system? What are the core values that are put into play in our energy policies? How about our military strategies? Or our health care system? I can’t name those core values, and I submit that nobody else can, either. Well, this is where we consult the Spirit of Truth. This is where we bring spiritual values into our systems so that we can serve our global family instead of the CEOs and stockholders.

So the core spiritual values in the writing of my thesis were Life, Equality and Growth. Life because it is the most precious value we’re given by our creator. Equality, because I believe that God loves each of us individually and equally, and Growth because that’s what I’m doing here in school. The oak tree never becomes an acorn. Growth is part of the natural pattern.

For every spiritual value that serves the intention, we determine three expectations. Precisely, how does Growth serve my intention to produce my thesis? My three expectations were: Increased Knowledge, Greater Vision of my role in the cosmos, More Love in my heart for my spiritual brethren. Now how do I know I’ve achieved these things? The fourth aspect is measurable criteria.  These are the concrete, measurable results of the system. They are the proof. Each expectation has three measurable criteria by which we know the system is working. Some of my measurable criteria were personal, and some were defined by Marylhurst. And, in fact, here I stand, thesis bound over there on the table, ready for signatures.  All eight of us who began this program served our intentions successfully and are here this morning.

This way of bringing spirit to the table in the reformation of our systems works. It is flexible enough to be tweaked as need be, as society changes, and as new needs arise. If our health care system were built on the solid rock of spiritual values, there would never be a discussion of throwing the whole thing out and starting over. We would tweak the expectations, or the measurable criteria. Nobody would be afraid—and isn’t that part of the problem now? Everyone is in fear. Where is God in that?  

The application of my thesis is to begin this process of bringing spiritual values to our systems. I will join others who have begun to hold small groups in their homes, designing systems, with spirit at the table in the form of values. It is my intention that those people will quickly catch on to the process and hold similar small groups in their living rooms. Slowly, as our larger systems fail, these smaller, interlocking systems will take their place, and begin to undergird our society with common sense procedures, based on love and mercy and ministry, for the betterment of all mankind. Wherever two or more are gathered, the spirit of Christ is in attendance, and the power of that fact should never be underestimated.

In conclusion, I ask that each of you be fearless in your personal ministry. Reach way beyond your comfort zone. Speak your truth, embrace your spiritual brethren, no matter their geographical location, their way of life or the status of their personal hygiene. Speak always of spiritually sustainable fixes to each of our problems. In your tireless work for social justice, remember that Matthew Fox—the theologian, not the actor—said that whatever is sustainable is just. That which is not sustainable is not just. This is as good a definition of justice as I have ever known.

Each of us is a shining facet in the diamond that is humanity. Love one another with a fierce and intense affection. Let your light so shine that everyone will glorify our Father in heaven. Together we can reach that tipping point that will mark the end of our animal ways and usher in a new, spiritual age.

I thank each of you here today for coming. Together we acknowledge this amazing program of study and those who have given themselves selflessly in its creation and mission. It has been my honor to participate.

The Power of the Word

I am a writer. The job of a writer is to use the limited universe of word symbols correctly — to employ the word symbols that most precisely depict what I mean to say, and put those word symbols in the correct order so that I can be as accurate in my communication as possible. Communication is about taking what’s in my head or heart and conveying that to you as completely as I am able.

When people consciously and with considered aforethought choose the wrong words to mislead, misdirect and confuse, we call that spin. We don’t like it when politicians spin, and we don’t like it when news analysts spin. Spin is an affront to me, and it should be an affront to you, too. We should demand accuracy from our politicians, who are our employees. We have a right to know the truth, and the whole truth.

I’ve already taken space on this blog to rant about the Pro Life movement, which is really an anti-abortion movement. You cannot be Pro Life if you are pro war, or pro killing anything–even wolves, as we encroach upon their habitat. There’s nothing wrong with being anti-abortion, but let’s not spin it. Pro Life and Anti-Abortion are two completely separate things.

My current heart sickness is over “Childhood Sexual Abuse” by the Catholic priests. Heartsick doesn’t begin to convey the soul sadness and overwhelming empathy for the victims that I feel. Anger and fury don’t begin to describe how I feel about this wretched practice and its decades-long cover up. But here’s what really fries me. The term “Childhood Sexual Abuse” indicates that there is something that is acceptable called “Childhood Sexual Use.” Well, I don’t think so.

Two words that are overused and under-defined are “abuse” and “molestation.” I don’t know what either of those words mean, and neither do you.

I think that this situation would have been handled differently, and could still be handled differently, if every one were as outraged as they ought to be. Did that pedophile monster rape and sodomize two hundred little deaf boys? If so, let’s say it out loud. “Hey! A pedophile monster dressed as a man of God parlayed his power into raping and sodomizing two hundred little deaf boys who thought he was their God.” Put that on the news. To my mind, that goes a lot further than “Some priests committed childhood sexual abuse.”

I’m so angry about this I could spit.

I know that my previous post was about anger and fear. So here I am, angry. Furious. What do I fear?

I am afraid that our journalists have decided to stop reporting the truth and are allowing themselves to use inferior words to soften the harsh realities of powerful men brutalizing innocents. They are spinning, and it is a dangerous precedent.

I am afraid that softening the blow of these awful word symbols will keep the masses from mobilizing into insisting that every single person who knew about this heinous practice be removed from power and severely punished. Now! Right now! 

I am afraid that people will turn away from God as the result of the despicable, corrupt organization that has fostered this cancerous code of secrecy.

And that would be the worst tragedy of all.

A New Year, A New Goal

I’m a pretty average American. I grew up in the Midwest with all the insults and prejudices that everybody else did. Fewer than some, more than others. Pretty average.

Those of you who have followed this blog, know that as a result of an inspirational conversation with my friend Terry Barrett, I’ve adopted her ritual of naming each year as it dawns. 2008 was the year of Hesed, or lovingkindness. 2009 was the year of Tao. All year long, I contemplate those concepts and try to work them into my life.

2010 is my year of Namaste. That isn’t really the correct word, as “Namaste” is more of a greeting, or a salute, but my intention is to see the God that indwells every single person I meet. I no longer want to feel threatened or afraid of those who are different from me, who dress differently, are a different color, who speak a different language or who have a religion with which I’m unfamiliar. I want to get directly to the heart of the matter and see who people are at their core.

Most of us are like scared little children, stepping into a new day every day, a scary day, doing things we’ve never done before. Even if 99% of our day is the same as the day before, there’s still an element of the unknown. And that little itch of fear makes us act out in anger, resentment, impatience, unkindness… you get my drift.

I want to see past all that smokescreen in myself and everyone else this year. I want to encourage the god within me to commune with the god within you. I want our angels to go out to lunch together and share a couple of laughs at our expense. I want to be a better person every day, every day, every day.

And so I name the new year Namaste: I honor the God within you, and I welcome the gifts 2010 will surely bring.

What do you mean, “Forgive and Forget”?

My friend, not long ago, was whining about some slight that she was still churning over, when I tossed off the oft-used, but ill-considered phrase: “Oh, forgive and forget.” She stopped in her tracks, looked me squarely in the eyes and said, “I will never forget, and I have no idea what forgiveness means.”

Hmmmm.  I had to think about that. This happened several years ago, and I’m still thinking about it. Of course we don’t forget. And what is forgiveness, anyway? I have an idea these days about what mercy is, but forgiveness has eluded me.

Well, the other day I happened upon an interesting article on forgiveness, and the author said that forgiveness was simply allowing another person their path.

That was kind of a stunner to me, and I’m not sure I’ve finished assimilating that simple bit of wisdom.

We all have our paths. Some wind around in a convoluted manner, some take us through very dark places, some have us living the glamorous high life and some appear to be cut short before they’ve really begun. It is my personal opinion, belief and faith, that we all have the same destination, eventually, but it’s going to take us all a long time to get there, not just the 80 or so years we have in this life on this planet. But my path to that destination is my path and your path is your path, and if you do something that offends me, well, that’s your path, to be mildly offensive now and then. I certainly spent enough time being offensive to people before I decided not to do that any more. That’s a part of my journey.

I’m not finished considering all the ramifications of this simple raindrop of wisdom. A theological question I’ve wrestled with for years now, was answered in a simple four-word sentence: “Allow them their path.”

Could it really be that simple? Are all the things we wrestle with that simple?

Probably. We’re the ones who make our lives difficult.

Obama’s Nobel

I should have been prepared for talking-head backlash on the Nobel Peace Prize being conferred upon President Obama, but I wasn’t.

First of all, everybody’s got an opinion, and in this instance, the only opinion that matters is the Nobel Peace Prize Committee. So everybody else can just shut up for a minute and try to figure out why they deemed him worthy of his extraordinary honor.

We are so divisive, so ready to engage in conflict, so partisan. No matter what the news item, the antithesis has to be aired. The news shows have to show the negative side of everything–not just show it, but dwell on it–because that’s what makes ratings.

I think perhaps the Nobel Committee is a step ahead of us. Perhaps they’re even a tier above. Perhaps they like Obama’s “can-do” attitude. Perhaps they like the hope that Obama offers in endeavoring to treat everybody like a human being. Perhaps they appreciate that he’s “no drama Obama” and has a singular vision to which he sticks without wavering.  He’s a constitutional scholar. He’s fair. He’s just. He’s a leader’s leader.

But he’s not perfect. Nobody is. Yet what he represents is so far beyond anything we’ve seen in a world leader that I applaud the vision of the Nobel Committee for seeing the bigger picture and recognizing it. Honoring it. Putting it on the global stage and shining one of the biggest spotlights there is upon it.

Well, for once, instead of giving face time to all the sound-byte-craving jerks who call this honor into question, I think the world ought to sit back and say wow.  This is unprecedented. This is extraordinary.

And now that you mention it, this really is quite a guy.

I’ve Been Arrested. Again!

This time every year, I go to jail for the March of Dimes.

 

I support this organization because they do so much for the babies. Al and I have three healthy (adult) kids and eight (count ’em!) healthy grandkids, and we’re making a donation in gratitude for each of those eleven healthy bodies.

 

If you have healthy children or grandchildren, won’t you consider making a donation, too? The March of Dimes is working tirelessly on behalf of the children.

 

Consider this: 1 in 10 babies is born premature, half for unknown reasons.

 

1 in 33 babies is born with a birth defect.

 

1 in 8 women receive inadequate prenatal care.

 

Premature birth and birth defects are th eleading causes of death in the first year of life. 

 

The March of Dimes is working on all of this and more, but they need to keep their funding to keep up the research.

 

Please help. Even $5 makes a difference.

 

jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/LizCratty

 

Thanks!

What if We All Got Along?

I’m serious.

What if we were nice to each other? What if we put cynicism and snideness aside and saw beauty and possibility in everything?

What if we all treated each other as we wanted to be treated? What if we loved our neighbors and acted toward them with affection and understanding? What if we respected the earth and contributed to it? What if we paused to consider the consequences of our actions as they will affect everything years into the future?

What if we acted as if we had the spirit of God within our hearts? What if we listened daily for the still small voice and took its counsel? What if we behaved as if we were continually in the presence of myriad loving celestial beings, here for the express purpose of helping us navigate the hazardous waters of our confusing mortal lives?  

What if we aspired to promoting the values of Truth, Beauty and Goodness? What if we saw Truth as Love, Beauty as Mercy, and Goodness as Ministry? What if we made those acts of Love, Mercy, and Ministry, the cornerstones of our lives?

We could, you know. Each one of us could act as if all those things were possible.

Each one of us could be the one who decides first that we are all going to get along.

Will you?

What makes a good life?

With death always comes reflection, whether it is the death of a loved one or a favorite celebrity. Today I’m wondering: What makes a good life?

It isn’t money, that’s for certain, and it isn’t cool stuff. It isn’t good reviews or a successful career, either, or any of that stuff. I’m coming to believe that life is made up of days well lived, and days are made up of moments.

Every moment, I have a decision–at least one.  Do I want to be happy or unhappy? Do I want to lead with my heart or with my cynicism? Do I want to be critical or see the best in people and their efforts?

And along with those decisions, I have a lot of little actions, too. Will my tongue be sharp or gentle? Will I act in a way that sustains the earth or in a way that is expedient? Will I take care of myself or succumb to instant gratification?

The Urantia Book says: “The keys of the kingdom of heaven are sincerity, more sincerity, and more sincerity.” Sincerity is a decision, made moment by moment.

Today I will speak gently to people, work to beautify my garden and provide nutritious food for my table, and make it a point, with sincerity, to let my husband know how much I appreciate him. Today I will proceed with love in my heart, extend the mercy to others that I would have them extend to me, and give raspberries to my neighbor.

If I can do all that, then this will be a day well lived. Strung together, these days make for a good life.

Getting Hung Up on an Attitude

I’m stuck.

I have a small, smoldering resentment and it has sucked all the fun out of my life.  The thing that is so infuriating is that this situation is insignificant. Tiny. Teenie, even. And I’ve given it the power to interfere with my  joy. Last night, it even interfered with my sleep.

So it’s time to take action. I know precisely what I need to do to put paid to this situation, but I have to say, it’s taken me a couple of weeks to realize what I need to do. This situation needed to simmer. I needed to get past all the angry words that were backed up in my throat and my head. I needed to realize why my little girl inside was saying, “But what about me?” which is what all angry words really say.

So I’ve taken responsibility for my part in this teensie little thing that has disrupted my serenity, and today I take steps to rectify the situation. It will take a couple of days, actually, but I can see my way through it, and I won’t be acting in haste, or in anger, or from an indefensible position of mock outrage.

Wow. How adult of me. It’s those twelve steps, you know, that work in my life when I’m too out of control to work them.

I may not have control over much in this life, but I do have control over my attitude. And right now, my attitude sucks.

So I’m going to fix it.